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Why is our child so quiet?

Q: I have a 5 years old son. He is facing communication problems. He is studying in U.K.G. He doesn't communicate with his teachers and classmates at school. Even at home, he keeps silent for most of the time. His teachers are complaining about him not communicating properly. He doesn't even inform when he needs to use the toilet. He knows how to write alphabets and small words. His concentration is good. At times he uses expressions instead of words to communicate. Its not that he doesn't know how to speak, its just that he refrains from talking. Even on insisting he cannot tell the names of his classmates. Unlike most children of his age, he isn't naughty. He hardly makes any noise. He looks very shy and timid. Upto the age of 3 years, he was good at most of the activities. After 3 we put him in a school. The language used in the school is different from his mother tongue. He studied in this school for only 9 months. After that I came back to my native town and joined him in the school. He continues to be the same in both Delhi and our native town. Now he has completed more than 5 years. We are really worried about his mental development. He has a sister of 11 years studying in class seven. She is good in studying and communication. There is no history of communication problems in our family. We request you to analyse his problem as per the history given and kindly guide us in this regard.

A:I think the change of location and school may have been a little difficult for your son to handle. He will get over it in due course as he hears the language and finds that he can communicate. Please do not force him to tell you the names of other children and so on. Let him initiate the conversation. If he looks unhappy,then both parents will have to be patient and gentle with him and find out what bothers him. Get him toys and play equipment that he can be fully engaged in. Join in his play once in a while. He will gain confidence in himself and the world around him. If you are still worried, after three months, take the child with you and consult a psychologist or counsellor. When we do this kind of long distance counselling, we can only guess at what his situation is. His wetting his pants can also be a sign of anxiety. First make him relaxed and happy. After that, if any problem persists, you can consult an expert in person.

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