Q: My 6 years old daughter is an introvert and stubborn. She avoids eating pulses and vegetables and prefers biscuits and bread. My husband and I are both working and have a 9 years old son too. We live in a joint family. She weeps bitterly when her brother takes a bath first or gets up first. What could be the reason? She is afraid of her aunt (bua) because she insists on eating food strictly, and she obeys her. For the last few days she has started passing stools in her clothes and doesn’t tell anyone. She is being scolded by everyone for this. On being asked she gives several replies like stomach not well or watching favourite cartoon or sleeping at that time. What could be the solution?

A:Your little girl needs psychiatric help. She is ill and needs professional guidance. Otherwise she would not pass stools in her clothes. She is scared of her aunt and of being scolded by everyone. Her passing a motion without control is a symptom of her being very upset. I would strongly advise the parents to take the child's health concerns more seriously. It may be necessary for the mother to take off a few weeks from work and give the child some assurance and emotional support. Instead of scolding her, treat her like a person who has a condition of bad health. Gradually build up her self-confidence. All this will take some months. Of course we must ensure that children eat nutritious food, but we cannot make the home feel like a military camp. The child is a person. Treat her like a person. For some reasons, she has been shaken up and feels insecure. Go to a Psychologist or Psychiatrist for advice. And if you can, let the parents do the rule giving rather than a visiting aunt. This will cause some tensions in the family, but you would agree that your child's happiness has also to be considered.