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Why is my 5 years old not toilet trained as yet?

Q: Recently I caught my 5 year old using the bathroom on the floor. He defecated on the bathroom floor and was urinating on his bedroom floor. When I confronted him with the issue he had no explanation for his behaviour. What could be causing him to do this?

A:Some children take longer than others to get toilet-trained. There are several points to be considered in handling this problem of your 5 year old defecating and urinating on the floor. Firstly, he may not be aware of the reason why he has done it. Secondly, try to analyse the correlates of this incident. Is he suddenly afraid of something? Is he angry or resentful of something? Sometimes children do such things simply to attract attention or as a signal of oppositional defiance. Wait and watch, and may be it might not get repeated. Tell him in simple words that it is undesirable behaviour. Do not ridicule him or beat him for it. Take his help in cleaning up. Above all, give him signals that you love him, but do not approve of this behaviour. Do get him examined medically to rule out any physiological problem. If the problem persists consult a child psychologist.

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