Why has my child become so stubborn?
Q: I have 2 sons – one is 6.5 years old and the other is 3 years old. For the past month or so the younger one is behaving very stubbornly. Till last month he was the best student in his play school. When the teacher teaches him, he goes under the table and distracts other kids. He doesn't want to sit at one place. So he goes out of the room & always wants to play outside. I have observed that the school is very good. But suddenly he is behaving like he is not interested & suddenly he urinates in the hall of our house. Both the brothers always quarrel but sometimes are very affectionate with each other. Please help.
A:Being a little playful at age 3 is perfectly natural. He is probably a bit bored with the activities in his play group. But urinating in the hall is something to be concerned about, unless he had to go in a hurry and could not wait to get to the toilet. Perhaps he had a fight with his brother and wanted to be noticed, even if only to be punished for it. If it happens again that he does something like that deliberately, you may have to get some guidance from a Psychologist or Counsellor. You could also talk to him when he is in a good mood and find out why he does something for which he will be punished. Listen to him and play with him and wait till he tells you what bothers him. Talk to his teachers and find out if they have observed any difference in his behaviour and the possible reason for his extra playfulness. He is only three years old, so don't keep comparing him to his brother who is three years older. Express you affection to both children, but do not make it conditional. Try and help your children to set limits and honour them. All this takes time and patience.