Why doesn't my son obey my orders?
Q: My son is 8 years old and very intelligent, but he does not concentrate on my orders. What should I do?
A:I think the key word in your one-line statement is the phrase "my orders". Parents are always older than their children, but not necessarily, wiser! In bringing up your son, you do not have to give "orders". Perhaps, you have had the experience of your father telling you what to do and not asking you whether you could do it and not letting you express yourself. In the year 2006, this is no longer possible. It is certainly not advised by any expert in the field of Child Psychology. If the child is intelligent, he will understand the reasons for your rules, even if they are not pleasant for the moment. For example, you might tell him to turn down the TV or go to bed. Tell him in a pleasant and reasonable voice and give the reasons. Surely he will see the rationale behind the rule. When parents shout all the time, children learn to turn off. If you wish to be heard, you should use the right language and examples to make him see your point of view. You should reward him when he listens to you. Since you gave no other detail, I am not able to visualise the nature of your problem. Perhaps you could also talk to his teachers and find how they are managing him. You may even find that your apprehensions are unfounded.