Why does my husband avoid having sex after marriage?
Q: I am a 24 years old woman and I had a love marriage a year ago. My husband is 2 years younger to me. We engaged in sex before our marriage. However, after we got married, sex seems to have vanished. We have faced a lot of emotional turmoil due to my in-laws before we got married. My husband does not feel like having sex with me at all. When I ask him what’s wrong, he just says that he doesn't feel like doing it. I suspect that my husband is getting his needs satisfied elsewhere although he completely denies the fact. I don't know how I should handle this and am not able to discuss this with anyone. I am not on talking terms with his family. I think that since I have put on loads of weight, he has lost interest in me. There is no romance left in our life. My husband is an individual who is totally non-expressive. On the other hand, I am very expressive. I am totally confused and don't know what to do. Kindly advise.
A:Sexual intimacy is an important component of a romantic relationship. You are suggesting that this is completely missing in your marriage. But how are other things? In case you feel that you are able to connect with your husband on other aspects, then for the moment put the intimacy issue on hold and re-build the communication. Spend quality time and enjoy each other. Then try and address the intimacy issue. In case he is resistant, please consult a psychologist. You may need to talk over the history of these problems in detail. You may also need help to deal with the negativity that has built up inside you and reduce the effects of that on your life. A psychologist may also be able to help you figure out ways in which your husband can be encouraged to seek help regarding this issue.