Why does my daughter stay aloof and refuse to go to school?
Q: My daughter is 6 years old. She is an intelligent and affectionate girl but has migrane, which affects her routine. She is under medication (homeopathy) for the past one year. Last year she had a bout of gastroenteritis after which she refused to go to school. She creates a big fuss over studies and home work. She is a poor eater and skips her lunch during school. She doesn't do anything on her own, unless somebody accompanies her. She lacks concentration and cribs and complains about everything. She doesn't like any kind of physical activity. She is glued to the TV all the time. She is afraid of staying alone even for 10 seconds. She questions a lot and keeps repeating it, though she knows the answer. She does not like to mingle with other children. She is becoming adamant. She loves playing on her own and talking to herself. She doesn't have siblings. Her teacher says that she disturbs (helps) others rather than doing her job. What should we do? I am worried about her behaviour.
A:Since many of your child's problems seem to be rooted in her health, it would be necessary to have a complete check of her physical system. Her more recent bout of gastro-enteritis seems to have made her unwilling to go to school. Maybe the bathrooms in the school are not convenient. Or the helpers in the school may be unwilling to take her to the toilet when she wants to go. I think you should let her speak to you and listen to her carefully. Ask her what happened, indicating that you will help her. Do this gently over a period of time and not directly, in an authoritarian style. Children who are only children often have imaginary playmates. If she helps the others in her class, that is a nice trait. Instead of trying to make her into a normal child maybe you could see what her nature is and where her interests lead and work around that. Spend time with her in a way that is enjoyable for her and you. Try and avoid coke based drinks for your child. In fact all soft drinks can be avoided. Coffee and tea should not be a part of her diet. Her TV watching should be selective and not more than an hour a day. After the initial period of getting adjusted to the school, children like to attend school. You must find out why your daughter is not happy to go. The problem may not be of her making. Be patient and check out everything. All the best.