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Why does my daughter hold her urine till she wets herself?

Q: My 3-year-old daughter is very stubborn. Whenever she has to go to the toilet, she holds herself and that is when we realise that she needs to go. But when we offer to accompany her, she keeps running from one room to another hiding, but does not go to the toilet, till she wets herself. I am not sure whether it is that she cannot control herself and is afraid to admit, or she is just being stubborn. She was fine a year ago, but my mother, who took care of her, got busy with my ill father, so she was left without her care. After that we put her on pampers. She does not eat well either. What kind of food will refreshes her appetite? What is the solution for her self-wetting problem?

A:Your daughter seems to have had some experience that has upset her. Normally children who have been toilet trained do not go back to wetting themselves during the daytime. Please do take her to see a Psychologist or Psychiatrist, who will be able to help her. Please do not scold or punish her. Maybe she had a very unpleasant experience when she went to the toilet. It would need patience and skill to find out what the problem has been. If you could spend a couple of months with her, during the main part of the day and night, it might reassure her. But since you have not given details, I am not able to label the problem or to suggest measures you can take. If you are kind and gentle, she will pick up confidence in herself. Play with her and cook special dishes for her, which are non-spicy and look interesting. Spend at least an hour before her bedtime telling her stories, playing some music or reading to her.

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