Why does my child not obey us?
Q: My son is 3 years old. He is fine in every way but when he is with his friends he does not share and does not listen what his parents say to him. In return he shouts at us for stopping him. Even at home he sometimes shouts at us and tries to raise his hand. But when we become serious he calms down. We try to make him understand about good behaviour. He listens and understands for some time but behaves the same way later. At times we have to be strict too. What shall we do?
A:I think you are doing approximately what should be done. But you seem to forget that he is only 3 years old. Don't expect him to behave like a 9 year old! Instead of giving a long talk about good behaviour, just distract him from doing something wrong. Do this with a light touch. If he is playing with your laptop for example, give him something more interesting and put your laptop out of sight. Children tend to imitate the adults around. If you stop raising your voice, it will be an incentive for him to talk softly. But this process will be gradual. Get the child play materials that he can manipulate actively and handle without risk to them or to himself. Play music that he can move to. Cut down on TV programmes that are noisy and violent.