Q: My son will turn five this November. He is an asthma patient. Overall, he is good in studies but when it comes to oral examinations, he is very poor. My husband's mother tongue is Tamil and mine is English. He speaks in both the languages. He is very active but also very naughty. He loves watching TV. His teacher says that though he is good in studies, he is talkative at the same time. He loves to dress up. As compared to his younger brother who is only 3 years old, I find the younger one better in every way possible. This has even resulted in a rift between my husband and me. Although my husband loves both of them equally, he always praises the younger one, which I find very upsetting. Due to this I fail to take care of younger son the way I should. Is it normal for a mother to feel this way? How should I tell my husband to treat both our sons equally? And how can I get the eldest one to improve himself? Please suggest.

A:When children are exposed to two languages at home, there is usually some delay in language development. This will get self-corrected as they grow up. Comparing children is bad for them. You will have to talk openly and convince your husband. Everyone is different. Children hate to be compared with one another. Also since your older child has asthma, any feeling of being less worthy can set off an attack of asthma. Look for the good points in him and help him to see that he is valued and just as close to the parents as the younger one.