What should I do to help my nephew?
Q: This is about my husband's nephew( my elder brother-in-laws son). He is around 12 years old. He had a very disturbed childhood. His parents are separated. At first he stayed with his grandparents then we all decided to enroll him in a public school. He was there for 1 year but last year he ran away from school and the hostel. Then we shifted him to my seconnd brother-in-laws house. From there also he tried to run away. He is very aggressive by nature, very arrogant and also has a habit of stealing monry and things belonging to others. He lies and is not good in studies. He has an elder brother, who has lived with his grandparents right from the age of 1. But this second one has stayed with his parents. His parents use to fight with each other a lot in his presence. He didn't have a happy and stable childhood, even his grandparents do not want to stay with him. At present, he is living with his uncle and cousins, but unwillingly, because there is no other place for him to stay. He cannot stay with us, because his grandparents stay with us and they do not want him to come here. We have a 2 years old daughter. My husband and I want to take him in our custody so that he can be given full attention and care but both of us are working. Please suggest what could be done to treat such a child. He is really disturbed. He also has inferiority complex because the fingers of his hands are joined.
A:If both of you are working in full time jobs outside the home and you have a 2 year old child, I do not see where you will find the time and energy to look after a disturbed 12 year old nephew. First of all try and get him professional help from a good psychiatrist. He seems really disturbed. Make sure your nephew goes regularly and follows the treatment suggested. Of course he will benefit from being with loving parental figures, but it will be a long haul. One of his biological parents should take the responsibility of looking after him. His feeling of rejection is very probably, the root of his problems.