Q: I am an widow of 33 old working in a financial company and have a 10+ year old daughter. My husband expired when my daughter was only 5 years old. She is daring by nature & very talkative. She was a good student upto std. III but now (std. VI) she is performing poorly in her studies and I am worried. She was doing well when I was looking after her studies at home as I was a housewife then. Now I feel, after becaming a working woman, her performance is gradually coming down. Because of her poor performance everybody in my family is worried. We are staying with my father. He is not able to cooperate in her study. So I have a tutor to help her in her study. But everything has failed. Now I feel some of her activities are like those of a mad girl. Whenever she meets anybody she talks uselessly. Should I show her to a Psychiatrist? Kindly suggest how I can guide her and she does well in studies, because she is my only hope. My husband was an engineer and I am also working in a mutinational financial company. Kindly suggest what I should do and help

A:Your problems are related to your situation and will need to be handled patiently. Please try and spend more time with your daughter, when you return home. You must talk to her about what is troubling her; she will be the best person to tell you. Probably, she is sad, not having her father. Also you are not at home all day. Sometimes, children compare themselves with others in their class. She may be wondering why she is unlucky and has lost her father. You must be working late hours in your job. So she may get lonely in the evening. There are no easy answers or solutions. But you will have to express your affection to her and tell her that she will be loved by you, whatever she does. Then find out the exact kind of school problem she has. It may be a casual remark from a classmate that started her trying to attract attention.. Maybe you could meet her teachers and also ask them for advice. She may not need to see a Psychiatrist, but if there is Counsellor or Psychologist at her school, she could be approached. I am not sure if you have access to such people. Otherwise, you will have to ask people in your area, like some kind grandmotherly person, to help your daughter with her school lessons. Give your child some story books to read and every night, before she sleeps, read out a story to her. Help her to say her prayers after that. Children like to have a regular routine. If you take care of her now, the future will take care of itself. Spend time with her to assure her that the world is a stable one and that she is a valued person. Other good things will follow. All the best.