My son needs to be pushed for doing everything, what should I do?
Q: My son is 12 years old. He is very fast in doing tasks allotted to him. But he doesn't get up early in the morning and we have to force him to get up for school. He gets up with a reluctant mind coupled with shouting at his parents for forcing him to rise early. But once he is up, he gets ready very fast and has missed the school bus only once in 8 years. He sleeps around 11 pm. What should I do? Secondly, I have been doing yoga for the last 7 years. I have tried all means to persuade my son to do yoga, at least once or twice a week. But he has an aversion towards this age-old magic. When I see other children of his age doing yoga, I feel sad. Also, many children of his age do household chores with joy. But my son does a few house-hold chores and that too with reluctance. Regarding studies, he is good and scores 85% or so. But we have to be after him to study. He is fond of playing cricket, watching TV and playing computer games, he does cycling occasionally. He eats a fair quantity of fast food like pizzas, patties, etc. He is overweight by 5 to 8 kg. Please advise.
A:It seems as if you are part of the conspiracy to keep your son doing all the things that you disapprove! To start with the last point first. Refuse to let your son have fatty foods all the time. Restrict it to once a week, for example. He should not be allowed to do whatever he likes. Your authority should be firm. But since you have let things go on for many months, all your work with him will have to be slower. Get him into a group that plays active games. Make the exercise also enjoyable. Yoga is somewhat solitary and may not be attractive to a sedentary child. If he can get 85%, he should be challenged to do even better, not necessarily with school marks, but in mastering some other skill. Have you tried Karate, for instance? Let his cycling become more regular. Tell him that if he wishes to be a part of the Commonwealth Games, he will have to begin now! You could also refuse to drop him at the school bus and see if he makes it on his own. He is trying to push his limits and you are giving in each time. In the old days, there was Scouting as a movement and children who were scouts became helpful and cooperative as well. Try and locate a group, which encourages activity and a helpful attitude. I find it surprising that you are sad at what he is doing. You could get happy by being more firm and being consistent. Try and rope in his favourite uncle or teacher to help you plan the details of the strategy. All the best.