My daughter is very sensitive, should we do as she says?
Q: I have a daughter who is 7 years old and another daughter who is two years old. The problem we are facing is that my daughter who is of a mental age of 9 years as per the Child Psychologist is very sensitive and is close to having ADS. As per the advice we are very patient with her while handling her and firm as and when required. Recently she came with the theory that the particular class teacher in her school is giving so much of homework that the teacher needs to be replaced else she is demanding to change her school. The school that I have admitted her is of high repute. I understand that all other children in our apartment studying in some other school say things like 'your school is the worst and mine is the best'. This seems to have hurt her. I have patiently tried to explain to her that the school she is studying in has produced scholars in the past but she insists that she needs to be put in the school where the other flat mate children are studying. While I have no problems in changing as per her desire but I feel is it harmful to pay heed to all her demands. Please advice how to handle this? We are trying to be patient, considerate and do not thrust our interest/desire on her.
A:I am glad to hear that your daughter is very bright. However, it is better not to mention this to her or talk about it all the time. She may have got an idea that she is brilliant and can even demand that her teacher be sent out. We all know that it is an impossible demand. She should not be encouraged to feel so powerful. But you must talk to her and listen to her, asking what exactly her problems are. She may want to go to the same school as other playmates in the flat. Perhaps the academic pressure will be lower. Perhaps the reason is not the homework that the teacher gives, but the way she talks. But children cannot control the school (or home) to that extent. Tell her that there is no guarantee that she will find everything acceptable in the other school. If it is possible to change her school, you might agree to do so once, but not every time she doesn't like something! Since you have already consulted a Psychologist, why don't you ask for her advice too? She has the advantage of having met the girl and knowing the situation first hand, while I am going only on the short letter you have sent.