My child is left alone due to my work, will he grow up to be aggressive?
Q: I am a working mother and a single parent. My son is 2 and a half years old and goes to a pre-school and for the whole day stays with my maid who is aged seventeen and is illiterate. My son cries a lot when he sees me and does not want to be with the maid servant. She is very aggressive and dominating. Is it affecting my child's growth? He does not remember his father as he hardly visits. Will my son grow up aggressive in nature. I cannot leave my job.
A:I am sorry that you have to manage without any family support. Leaving your young child with an illiterate 17 year old maid is NOT satisfactory at all. You must make alternative arrangements. A creche or day care centre would be much better for your son. If you cannot locate one, see if you can find someone kind and affectionate, in the neighbourhood to take care of your child. Find out what other mothers are doing. Is there any possibility of child care arrangements in your workplace? I do not know where you live, but it seems to me that if you have to manage on your own, you should at least shift to a place where you will have some family support. I know it is not easy to relocate, but I dread to think of how unhappy your child will be in the hands of an aggressive and untrained care giver. His crying is the language he uses to tell you that he does not want to be left with your maid for the whole day. As a start, you can try and get a different woman to be the care giver for your child. Sometimes, being ruggedly independent is not worth the price one has to pay for it. Maybe you could ask for some help from your parents or sisters/brothers. Or friends, anyone you know and trust. But take matters into your hands and do not let the present arrangement continue even for a day longer, if you can help it. All the best.