My boyfriend's son is aggressive, violent and disobedient, what should we do?
Q: I have a 6 years old boy and my boyfriend, whom I live with, has a 5 years old boy. Both of our sons live with us Friday through Monday. My boyfriend's son is very aggressive, violent, rude and disobedient. My son is very compassionate, loving and very well behaved. Recently, my boyfriend's son told another child that he was going to stab him with a scissors. My question is do you think I should be concerned about the well being of my son and myself? I don't know what to think. My boyfriend simply brushes it off.
A:You should definitely be concerned about the safety of your child. You should teach him directly and indirectly how to respond to aggression and also how to protect himself. Your need to be concerned about your step-child's aggression, which probably stems from insecurity and jealousy, should be limited. Perhaps you are being over-sensitive in comparing him with your own son. He is primarily his father's and mother's responsibility. If your boyfriend does not give it much importance, you should not make it an issue for argument. It could be a passing phase in the child's life. If difficulties continue, you could suggest assessment and counselling for the child and perhaps family therapy for the entire blended family. You may even need to re-consider your decision to continue the relationship with your boyfriend.