Q: I have two children aged 6 years (son) and daughter (4 years). I feel my son is too naughty and does not concentrate on studies. I couldn't spend time, fortunately or unfortunately, with my daughter's studies but she does her work on her own. I find both of them completely different from one another and it is difficult to understand my son. He has a wavering mind and while doing one work, he will be simultaneously thinking of some thing else. This affects the work that he is actually performing at that time. I would request you to explain to me how to improve his concentration, be it studies, games, or anything.

A:I would like to first tell you that what you are finding with your children is quite normal. Children are quite different from each other. We should not expect them to be alike, even though, they are both yours. Secondly, there is a great deal of difference between the way boys and girls play and deal with their situations. Being easily distracted or being unable to concentrate on one thing at a time is normal for a six year old. Your daughter age 4 appears to be more docile and quiet. Both of them will grow up to be good adults, but their pathways may differ.Your son probably needs a little more supervision. Set him small tasks at a time and appreciate him when he completes each of them. He also needs more vigorous activities, like running, jumping, catching ball etc. Please don't keep telling him that he is bad and that his sister is good . This kind of comparison must always be avoided. It will make him want to show some mischievous behaviour, which will get you to notice him. Be kind and tender with both your children, expressing your affection with hugging and holding. Do not make your affection conditional upon their school work or their behaviour. Try and find out, by talking to your son, what he would enjoy doing, and if it is acceptable to you, give him some chance to pursue his interest. Parents tend to be so worried about child rearing, that they keep instructing their children (Do this, don't do that!) when it would be better to be a little relaxed about it, acceptingthat children will be different. The best investment for their future is in keeping them happy and well loved.