Is our marital discord affecting our daughter?
Q: My husband and I argue a lot. He even tends to verbally abuse me and says vile things. Our 10-year-old daughter has been hearing our arguments all her life. I have noticed that she is becoming anxious and rather demanding towards me and my husband. She treats me as if I don't know what I am talking about. She does not let her father get away with saying bad things to me. I am not sure what to do. Do you recommend any books or do you think she needs counselling?
A:It seems as though your ten year old daughter is more mature than her parents. She is absolutely right to stop your husband from using abusive language to you. You should have kept her out of the scene, when you were arguing. At least now, avoid acrimonious scenes when the child is around. It is also possible for you both to go to a marriage counsellor for advice on how to manage your relationship. When the family is peaceful and harmonious, the girl will definitely be less anxious. Please take the message that the girl is giving you both: Lets have peace and warmth in my home!