Is my daughter’s behaviour normal?
Q: My four years old daughter is always in an imaginary world. She used to create stories with little / no meaning sometimes. She also blames other people for silly misbehaviour. Once she broke a glass in front of me and I scolded her and asked her why she did it? She replied that her father did it. She says sorry for her silly mistakes, but she does not hesitate to repeat them again. She is a disciplined girl in school. She can make friends very easily and shares a close relationship with them. She always prefers to have selective friends. She becomes overly conscious of herself when she is outside the house. But she has an initial fear while talking to someone for the first time. Moreover, once she told me that she will marry one of her classmates in school. Our relatives started teasing her after knowing this. Is my daughter’s behaviour normal?
A:Yes, your child is normal and you are getting worried for no good reason. If she has a good imagination, consider yourself lucky. Also make sure that the school she attends has methods which give children some freedom.
And don't forget that she is only four years old. She is doing very well. If she is selective about who she is friendly with, that is surely OK. I think the child has shown modesty and reticence, traits to admire rather than deplore. It seems as if you are looking for problems that you can pin on her and then to mould her into an extrovert person. Let her make her choices and be the kind of person she feels comfortable being.
If something breaks, she knows you will scold her, so she says that her father broke it. I would not call it telling a lie. She is playing a game, because she does not expect you to believe her, rather wants you to overlook the breakage. If she says she will marry "Sanjay" and you repeat it, she has to conclude that you approve of her statement. Why do you make everything into a complaint? Just tell your relatives not to keep at the same type of joke and everything will be OK.
I hope you are providing your child with art materials and children's music and story books. Let her be a 4 year old and a happy 4 years old at that. Watch your own tendency to be over-critical and over-ambitious.