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I feel guilty leaving my infant with my in-laws, what should I do?

Q: I had to leave my child at home with my in-laws after when she was 2.5 months old. I tried coming home and spending time with her as much as possible. My sister-in-law, older than me, does not have a child and lives at a distance away from us. She kept coming and playing with my child for at least twice a week. Now whenever my sister-in-law comes home my child refuses to come to me except when she is hungry. She is 7 months old now and my in-laws want me to stop feeding as I am weak. But I feel very insecure. Also I am guilty about letting my baby in other people's care. What should I do?

A:It is quite normal for you to want to be the most important person in your babys life. It is also quite normal for the baby to want to stay with those who play with her and make her feel good. Your situation (working outside the home) makes it necessary for other family members at least to spend time with your baby. Do not resent it, but rather be happy that the child has the possibility of good care even in your absence. However, if you wish to have more time for your child, see if you can take a part-time job or give up some responsibilities at work in order to spend more time at home. If that is not possible, let your mother-in-law and sister-in-law give the baby the attention and care that she needs. As she grows up, the child will be attached to you as well. Most children in our country thrive under multiple mothering or having motherly care from more than one person. Relax and enjoy your child when she is with you.


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