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How to help a child adjust with his parents?

Q: My sister has a 4 year old son who has been brought up by his grandparents from 5 months onwards. Now when she wants to get her son back, the in-laws are afraid that the child may not adjust with the parents and will get fever (due to fear that his grandmother is out of town) and such kind of fever will take a long time to cure. The child is not accepting my sister as his mother and he plainly says that he doesnt like her. She is very worried whether the child will accept her or not. Thinking of this my sister feels that she is losing her son. Is it true that the child will not get adjusted to his parents? Please give us advice on this.

A:Regarding your sister's son: If he is fond of his grandparents, he will naturally miss them, when he is away. But there is no basis for the expectation that he will get fever etc. You must realise that the grandparents are also very fond of the child and are feeling that they will miss him. Some of the problems can come from their unwillingness to let him go. Love is not exclusive. That is, because the child loves his grandparents, it does not mean that he cannot love his parents. There is place in the heart for a number of close relationships. When the child starts living with his parents, he will get to like them and love them. In order to make the process easy, your sister should stay along with her parents-in-law and start doing everything for the child. She should recognise and support the child's feelings. But she should insist on her right to keep her child with her. Tactful handling and gentleness will help everyone, especially the child. Let your sister be playful rather than punishing and tell stories and sing songs to him. It will work.


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