Q: My son does not pay much attention to his study. Since his fourth class, he is not securing more than 55% marks as we expect. Now a days children are securing more than ninety percent marks. His sister scores around this ninety percent in her secondary school i.e. 10th class. She has her own interest in study but the son does not have the same interest. He is in his 10th class and is to appear for final exams this year. Please give me some tips and counselling so that we can improve his skill and guide him for future. Children at this stage do resist if any good advise is given to them by their parents and listen better to their friends. Please let us have your views on how to solve this problem.

A:Usually, children who are 15 yrs old try to check out their strength and adulthood by defying the parents. You should see this as a sign of his age and nothing abnormal. Secondly, please stop comparing him to his sister, who in your view is better behaved. Children do not enjoy being told how much better someone else is! Playfulness is natural and I would be more worried if the child is not playful!. However, make him see that his future choices will be determined by how he performs in the 10th. What are his own interests? Do not force him to be an engineer because his father and uncles are engineers, for example. But do point out gently and without anger that unless he takes responsibility for his own exam performance, no one else can help. Reward him with a smile or a word of praise when he does something you approve of. Give him some time in the day to do whatever he likes. Help him to plan his time. If he has good friends, who get good marks etc. they may be able to give him a few tips on what to do. But do not load the situation with so much anxiety, that he feels ineffectual.