How to handle a child who cries excessively?
Q: We have a two years three month old boy and we are both working. Whenever we are at home, my son starts taking undue advantage by crying unnecessarily for something and this habit is increasing day by day. He also vomits whenever he cries. What should be our approach in dealing with him?
A:A child of two years and three months is barely out of his infancy and cannot be expected to take an adult point of view on anything. Usually, children cry in order to convey a message. Quite often it is one of distress. It is only natural that the child wants the presence of his parents and it seems to him that they are highly unavailable. So he cries in protest and is unhappy enough to vomit. He wants you to take notice. Please do not ignore his plea. Without knowing anything about your situation, I find it difficult to give specific advice. Who looks after him when you are both away at work? Is that person kind and caring? When you come back from work, do you just look for good behaviour in your child or are you willing to treat him as a person with human feelings and needs? Do you spend time cuddling your child, talking to him and doing things for him that are enjoyable? You say my son takes undue advantage by crying unnecessarily and your use of words reflect your undue sternness and your unnecessary expectations of a 2 year old. Your approach should be affectionate, tender, caring and interested in knowing the person who has come into your life. Parenting involves commitment and responsibility. Buy some picture books and read them out. Pick up a cassette of childrens music and play it to your child and sing with him and for him. There is no such thing as his taking undue advantage. You may have to revise your way of thinking about the child. It would be good if the child had access to an older relative or a warm care giver during the day. Maybe the mother can take a lighter work load for the next 8 or 10 months and let the child become happy. When he feels secure, he will not cling to you. Please treat the whole situation with more gentleness and a little bit of humour.