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How to deal with a child who abuses and shouts while playing?

Q: My 12-year-old son is slightly hyperactive. He speaks in a loud tone, is very fast at doing his tasks, fares well in studies but is obsessed with playing cricket. Sometimes while playing with his friends, he gets abusive but not violent. He has been hit by his friends badly and he reacts furiously screaming a volley of abuses but without hitting equally in return. He has a compassionate heart. He does play cricket with his friends often, yet he prefers to play cricket with me (his father), as he believes that I play better than many of his friends. How should we as parents deal with him?

A:Your son seems to be adjusting reasonably well to the demands of his environment. Cricket can be an interest, even a passion and many boys we know who were cricket-crazy have grown up to be successful adults. However, shouting and being abusive can be very irritating to all around him and his friends will not tolerate it, if it goes beyond limits. I think you will have to include other activities into his everyday schedule. He probably has the energy for more physical and mental activity. It is heartening that he has a good relationship with his father. Use this for persuasion (to accept your values, for instance). An element of humour and playfulness could also be very useful to defuse tension, occasionally. As he will soon be a teenager, giving him some idea of the changes in adolescence is also advised.


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