How should we deal with an adopted child?
Q: We have adopted a 6-year-old girl. We have no idea about her origin. She is left handed and very slow as complained by her teachers also. What could be the reason, are left handers always slow in the beginning? Secondly, she seems to be very peculiar. She does not take food and creates a lot of pressure and tensions in her daily routine tasks on day to day basis. It is very difficult to change her. This has also disturbed our family life. She is not aggressive but slow in all respects. How should we proceed for any consultation?
A:There must have been a reason for your adopting a child. Think of that reason while you are dealing with her. If she was 6 years old when you took her, she must have had other experiences. Her lack of routine and regularity may be related to that. In any case, please be patient and affectionate with her. Hold her close and assure her of your acceptance of her, fully and unconditionally. Give her a little time to get used to your household. Routines are not the most important thing in ones life. Accepting a child as your own and giving her love and tenderness is the first task. Other things will follow. Her slowness could be related to her unpleasant past experiences or to innate ability. In either case, she must be taken for what she brings. Adopting a child is not like getting something by mail order. It is a wonderful act on your part. You have given yourself a child and given the child a family. Take the long view and enjoy your parenting.