Q: I have a five and a half years old son. He is a very sweet boy but when his demands are not fulfilled, he throws tantrums. He becomes aggressive and starts using inappropriate language. When I fail to make him understand in a soft manner, I beat him. Though I feel bad don't know what to do? He doesn't listen. His teacher says he is a very intelligent boy. How should I tackle him?

A:Treat him like sweet and intelligent boy (your own words to describe him). DO NOT BEAT YOUR FIVE YEAR OLD! You have every reason to feel bad, when you use your adult strength over someone who cannot protect himself. Make the rules clear and reasonable. Convey them in a normal voice. At the most, you should withdraw a privilege (like ice cream or chocolate) rather than physically punishing him. He should be so fond of you, that earning your disapproval should feel like a punishment. If you are harsh for the slightest things, he will get used to your shouting and beating and teach himself to ignore you. If you want to be relevant in his life, be affectionate, firm and always willing to hear his point of view. Do not make it an ego issue and start feeling that your authority as a parent is being challenged. Be flexible and gentle and you will find that it works better than the fireworks you tend to use. Talk to his teacher and find out how she gets the child to listen in class and so on.