How do I handle my child's aggressive behaviour and anger?
Q: My son is 5 years old. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and given Arkamin. His speech was delayed but now it is improved. He speaks in Tamil and is able to understand and answer one-two words in English. The problem is he has become very aggressive in the class. Last year in LKG his teacher used to control his misbehaviour. But this year, the teacher is not much concerned and she says she cannot always look after him. In the teacher's absence and sometimes even in her presence, he scratches other children, for simple reasons like sitting in his place, taking pencils etc. He does not speak anything in the class. He shows his opposition by scratching, hitting other children. I am getting complaints daily. Apart from this, he does not look at the board, copy or write in the book. Even if he writes, he writes in big sizes and not in one line and suddenly starts scratching. He loses his things in school and is not bothered about his books, pencils etc. but at home he is very concerned about his household things like dress, toys, slippers etc. He does not speak to any kids or outsiders and does not reply if anybody asks unless they repeat it 3-4 times. He keeps jumping in the class and also on the road. He has a problem with eating too. He keeps food in his mouth for along time. I have to keep shouting at him and force him. Since I am working he stays with his grandmother and even she is unable to handle him. I am very frustrated with complaints against him. Please help me control his aggressive behaviour and anger. Now he is going to a normal school. Please also let me know if there is any school for ADHD in Bangalore, India. Since he is troubling the other children, his school is forcing to put him in a special school.
A:Patience and firmness will be needed in handling your child, not punishment or shouting. You could try and see a Child Psychologist or Counselor for specific hints. They are likely to suggest methods that are time-consuming, but worth pursuing in the long run. He has to be assured of your affection for him and you must combine firmness with a little bit of playfulness. Try and remember that he is not doing something to annoy you deliberately, but its something he cannot help. Do take the advice of people in the know to find out names of Psychologists you can consult. If you cannot find one, may be a phone call to NIMHANS may be useful for names of schools/institutions that will help with such a child. All the best.