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How can I make my daughter more polite or sober?

Q: My three and a half years old daughter’s behaviour is a cause of worry for me. She is very adamant and does not change/modify her requirement. She is yet to develop interest in learning alphabets. She is termed restless in her school as she does not indulge in any fruitful/learning activity and disturbs others frequently. While playing, she does not heed to others’ terms but wants others to follow her own terms. How can I make my daughter more polite or sober? Further, she weighs just 13.5 kg and has put on only three kg in the last three years. Is this a matter of concern?

A:A little girl of three and a half is made to sound like a problem! Almost a monster! To begin with, you will have to see what her strengths are and build them up. Even your perception of her good points will make a difference. Your entire list is filled with what you think is wrong! You have used the word, adamant . In another context, you might have said, she is strong willed . It is too early for a child to be interested in the alphabets. Till she is 4 years old, teachers should focus on speaking and listening. Reading small words comes later and writing comes much later. But we are all prisoners of the school system, so I shall say no more. I find the tone of describing your daughter, a little over-critical, almost hostile. As parents you should be concerned about her happiness, not about her being sober , whatever that means! One way of raising children to be polite is for them to see their role models (the people they admire) acting politely. Just be very nice to each other and she may easily pick it up. Make it a game first to say please and thank you in every sentence and she will soon learn to use it appropriately. You should certainly be very concerned about her nutrition. Make sure she is de-wormed regularly. Also let her have food made for her specially, which is not too spicy. At her age she should be having 5 to 6 meals a day (this includes home-cooked snacks, nuts, fruits etc). Stop worrying and take some positive action in the right direction. Here are a few signs of good health. She should be hungry and enjoy her food, sleep without a break at night and get a short spell of rest in the day, play actively and be interested and involved in the people and things around her. Above all she should be happy.

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