How can I help a friend move out of an abusive relationship?
Q: I really love this girl who I met at a college festival a few months back. Now we both are really close but she has a boyfriend who is extremely possessive about her, infact to the extent that he beats her up! He hates her talking to me. He threatens her that he would kill her if she leaves him. The problem is that somehow even after fighting with him so much she says she loves him and I don't know why, either out of fear or something else. She shares everything with me, all her secrets and her sorrows. She calls me up after every fight they have and cries on the phone. She says she doesn't know what to do. I don't even know if she loves me or just takes me as a good friend. All I know is that I really love her a lot and can't see her suffer this way. Also whenever I tell her to break up with him she says he's not that bad and its ok. But whenever she has a fight she is really upset with him and talks about leaving him. Please advise as to what to do and tell me if I have a chance with her or not?
A:There are two issues involved her, i.e. her relationship with her abusive boyfriend and secondly her relationship with you. It is clear that she needs to get out of the abusive relationship for which she needs professional psychological help, as well as support from family and friends. The possibility of a romantic relationship between both of you depends on the success of her ability to come out of the previous relationship. It is difficult to assess the present status of her feelings towards you as it would be ambiguous. Try to gather social and professional support for her. Encourage her to talk to her parents and go to a psychologist or counsellor for help.