Q: My 7-year-old daughter is very impatient and stubborn. She doesn't listen to anything. She wants to live her life, her own way already. She has significant myopia in her left eye, but she blatantly refuses to wear corrective glasses. Her eyesight is deteriorating continuously. I have tried everything I could think of, be it rewards & punishments. I have even hit her and am ashamed to admit my frustration. This is an SOS call. Please help!

A:If the home is made into a battleground, there are no winners, only losers. First of all take deep breaths, sit back and think of what you wish would happen. Analyse the reasons for why you get upset and frustrated. You love your daughter and would wish the best for her. You are angry that she has myopia and wish that it would get OK miraculously. If it does not, it is because your daughter did not wear her glasses, is what you think. Begin with the glasses. Did you give her a chance to choose the frame? Did you remember to tell her that she looked good wearing them? Did you find out from her, what her friends said? Has it reduced her actively playing some games? Every issue can be complex and you must have patience. Actually children do have a mind of their own. They are not blank slates waiting to have something written on them! Talk to your child gently as with a friend and let her tell you what bothers her. Explain why it is important for her to work harmoniously with the family for the best results. Focus more on the relationship between you than on her achievements or even her unsatisfactory behaviour. Your aim should not be to change her to your plan, but to help her to develop her own strengths and also become more sociable and pleasant.