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How can I handle my children?

Q: My son is five years old and my daughter is ten years old. I find that tackling my children is a big problem. My daughter is always arguing with me and my son keeps crying for everything. I really don’t understand why my children don’t understand that what I am telling them is for their good. There is especially a problem with my son who cries every time things don't go his way and he doesn’t share anything. He loves his sister very much but he always wants to have everything his way. I live in a joint family system and it is really painful to see that I am unable to convince them of what is right. I sometimes lose patience and land up hitting them and feel miserable about it later. Who is wrong here and how do I tackle them? Please help me.

A:You are in a family, not a court of law. Finding out who is wrong here is not the task I envision for myself. You seem to be under tension and you will have to do some introspection and identify the cause and manage your own problems in due course. A 10 years old daughter and a 5 years old son should not become a big problem. Instead of doing what is for their good, why don’t you change the tactics and do what they like? All of it may not be harmful to their health or schooling. If some of their choices are wrong, you can show them that you have given in to their wishes and that they should now respect your suggestion. Why do you have to hit them? Surely it is possible to convince them reasonably. You have told me no details about the rest of the family, so I cannot even begin to guess at the nature of the dynamics. Make sure that the children get healthy nourishing food, and their full quota of sleep. It is best to avoid Cola drinks. Control their TV watching (both number of minutes per day and the type of programme). Get the help of others in the household to play with the children and to keep them happy.

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