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How can I divert my son's mind towards studies?

Q: My 19-year-old son is a college student and has developed a habit of getting up late at 12 noon. He was studying in an engineering college, but dropped this year. I am working in Africa and my wife is a schoolteacher in India. We were unable to give much time to him. Most of the times, he stays over at friends' place and enjoys computer games. He watches a lot of TV and does not study enough for clearing his remaining subjects. He does not like to speak or listen to his mother or any elder. We feel that it is impossible to bring him back on the right track. Please advise.

A:It is difficult to have long distance control, as you can see. You probably gave your son a lot of money and freedom and now he finds it easier to enjoy himself and neglect his studies. He is an adult and must take responsibility for himself. Maybe you could stop his allowances and ask him to take up a job. A year in the real world may be a good experience. But he is still immature and needs to be assured of your emotional support and affection. There are no instant solutions to a problem that has been developing over months and years. Do you think it would help if he came to stay with you and started working? Maybe engineering is too difficult a field for him. I am still making guesses, since the information given is so sparse.

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