Does constant moving and changing houses in different cities affect the growth of a child?
Q: Since my daughter's birth, we have now spent more than a year in one place and have shifted 6 houses, staying with extended family in India and again returning to isolated living in London. My daughter is almost 3 now. Conventionally shifting, for my husband’s job and all the advantages that come along with living there, seems great and hence if we have to do it again I might agree and go for it. But in reality, this is affecting my daughter and me. I don't feel any sense of stability and my career has stagnated. I was wondering how this would affect my child’s psychology. She has been in 3 play-schools already and this is in this year itself. Is there a way in which we can have such frequent moves and yet reduce stress for the whole family? Do you think a trained Psychologist can do anything about this situation?
A:I think the break in your career is causing you some anxiety and that is generalising to the whole scene. As far as your 3 year old child is concerned, moving homes or play schools is no problem, unless she has expressed some distress. In fact, I have found that children who have a variety of experiences are ready to face a complex world as they grow up. They learn to make new friends easily and adapt quickly to changed situations. Most choices that we in life make are difficult ones. Once you have made it, relax. Instead of worrying about what the negative effects may be, you should try and make the most of wherever you are. It may not be so bad to have your career on the back burner for a couple of years. In any case, if you live in England, you will have to stay at home to take care of the child, as extended family is not available. So take your child to the Park and the gardens, visiting others her age and so on. There are many child-friendly places there. And the next time you move, get a good packer. Its the entire responsibility you are handling that may be wearing you down. Children are resilient and will be on the look out for the next surprise! If you still want to see a Psychologist, do so. But remember that you may have to change your perception, rather than the situation itself. Discuss this with your husband too and work out some methods to ease the stress.