Why was I unable to have sex the first time we tried?
Q: I tried having sex with my girlfriend but couldn't succeed since my penis couldn't go in. I tried thrice but in vain. I was told this to be a normal sign but what concerns me is that I did not feel any pleasure when trying to have sex, although my partner did. I thought there would be a great level of pleasure touching my partners private parts with my penis. Is this any sign of abnormality or does my penis need to go in fully to experience pleasure? I have been masturbating for the past 12 years everyday with some kind of pleasure, then why didn't I feel the same when trying to have sex?
A:As this was the very first attempt of intercourse in your life, you seem to have experienced a classical performance anxiety that many men experience before marriage. Remember, it is not necessary to have sexual intercourse on the very attempt. Everyone experiences some level of performance anxiety in the first few attempts. However, later on it diminishes. In the correct circumstances and in a relaxed environment, with an equally involved & responsive partner, you will be able to perform sexual intercourse and even enjoy it. The pleasure is much more and much different when you penetrate your penis completely in vagina and both of you are equally involved and participating in the act in a completely relaxed, guilt free intercourse without any fear or anxiety.