Q: I am 31 years old married man and have a 6 months old baby. We had a good sex life before our baby was born but after the baby we had no sex for the last 6 months. I am not getting a proper erection and my wife is also gets tired soon due to the pregnancy. When I use a condom I cannot get an erection but for to maintain birth control we have to use a condom but I am not comfortable with it. I came to know about copper T; is are there any side effects of using copper T? Is it sufficient for birth control? Another problem is my wife had an affair with heris office colleague before marriage and she had . She told me that they had the sex 2 to 3 times before our marriage. When I think of sex with my wife, I start thinking about her with her the things come in my mind about her boyfriend and how they do sex etc. and I loose my erection. I always fantasise about my wife and her boyfriend and do masturbateion. How can I come out of this problem and have a good sex life with my wife?

A:It seems that you are unable to come to terms with the fact that your wife had pre-marriage sex with her office colleague. These thoughts are playing on your mind and affecting you negatively and are responsible for your inability to get good erection. Secondly, it is a very common occurrence that after a child birth, many women are unable to have same kind of interest in sex as they were having before delivery. There are many reasons for it such as physical fatigue, weakness as well as some hormonal changes. In this situation, the husband needs to be patient and allow the wife to settle down within her new situation for contraception, Copper-T is a good method and suits a large majority of women who use it. Please try it after consulting a doctor. You both require personal counselling to come out of the negative thoughts because of your wife's pre-marriage sexual relations. The sooner you do it, the better.