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Lack of sexual interest

Q: I am a married woman of age 31. I have been married for 10 years now. I have had very little interest in sexual activity even after marriage. I used to be very scared of sex. It took 3 months to have intercourse after the wedding. It used to be painful in the beginning. Then it got OK but foreplay was always better than the intercourse. Now I think it must have been vaginal dryness or a vagina which doesn't dilate that easily. I had this dilation problem even during delivery. I had to get an epidural and then dilation started. After the baby was born it got painless and there was no problem. I could oblige whenever my husband approached me. But lately I have lost complete interest in the entire act. I just feel very very frustrated and helpless when I have to perform the act. My husband seems to be needing it more now than ever before. I have 2 kids who are demanding. He fantasises a lot that so he often has nightfalls. This incompatibility has lead to lot of tension in the family. Please advice me if I need to take some medicines.

A:Interest in sexual life is determined by many factors. For example love, intimacy and acceptance among family members during childhood, parental relationship and expression of love, sexual or other physical experiences, community, family and ones attitude to sex, sexual knowledge, self esteem, personality traits etc.etc. After marriage relationship with husband, expectations-sexual and other, premarital sexual experiences, family atmosphere all matter a lot for a healthy interest in sex. But despite all being well, desire level may differ among individuals. Pain during sex or fear of it may lead to sexual disinterst as can general dissatisfaction in life or stress. You need to consult a psychiatrist to rule out depression which is an important cause of lack of sexual desire or find out and treat any other cause of your problem. Both drug and nondrug treatments are available.

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