I am unable to have sex due to the fear of pain, what should I do?
Q: I am 27 years old and married for the past three years. Me and my husband have not been able to have sex because of the excruciating pain that is involved with it. I am not able to co-operate at all. I have a fear of pain that I am not able to get over with. What is wrong with me? I am really worried about it, because we want to have kids. Please help me with this problem. My husband understands but I always feel guilty about the whole situation. Being an Indian there is a lot of pressure from everybody else to plan a family.
A:What is happening with you is either due to 'Vaginismus' or due to 'Penetration Phobia'. Vaginismus is an involuntary spasm of vagina during penetration, which makes penetration painful and even impossible. Penetration phobia is invariably a psychological phenomenon, which is a result of past trauma, emotional, psychological or even physical; or due to irrational beliefs and incorrect information accepted during vulnerable phases of life in growing years. For the treatment, couple needs to consult a trained sex counsellor in person. There are no medications that can treat this situation. The treatment includes counselling/psychotherapy and sex education.