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I am scared to have sex due to the pain, what do I do?

Q: We are unable to have intercourse since I am scared of the pain and I feel the male organ is too big and my vaginal opening is too small. I don't know how to handle this; please help?

A:How long is it since you've been trying to have intercourse? A little anxiety about some pain the first time is normal, but you seem to have an exaggerated penetration phobia. Relax. Remember that you will not be the first woman in history who is getting deflowered. Also, the human vagina is designed to deliver a full baby. Even the largest penis is nothing in comparison. Some gentle finger stretching of the vaginal opening with K Y Jelly and local anaesthetic jelly could solve the problem. This can be made pleasurable by engaging in it as part of foreplay. However, we do not know if there is any valid basis for your fear. Sometimes, young women have conditions like dyspareunia and vaginismus, which can justify such phobia. If the problem is not resolved in the next few days using the simple, aforementioned methods, consult your friendly gynaecologist. If the problem is with the partner, his penis, or his erection, contact a urologist. Good luck.

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