Q: I was sexually abused when I was 12 by one of friend. I was also abused when I was 15 years by an old man and a number of seniors. Due to this I was attracted towards males more than the opposite sex. It has continued since I got married when I was 34 yrs. Though I am able to control it now but still at times I cannot control when I see a handsome fair middle aged or old persons. While mating with them I feel I am a passive partner (if female) and and want to have sex with them though I hate to have anal or oral sex with them. Can I continue this though married. KIndly advise.

A:It is not unusual for a sexually abused boy to struggle in adulthood with sexual impulses toward men. But since you married a few years ago, I assume you do not wish to give in to living a homosexual lifestyle, and prefer to stay married and have sex with your wife. If I understand the situation correctly, your best solution is to enter into verbal psychotherapy with a psychologist, socials worker, or psychiatrist who is experienced in treated persons with sexual disorders. A good therapist can help you sort out your conflict between wanting and not wanting sex with other men. Good luck!