How can I overcome guilt feeling due to indulging in sex?
Q: I am 19 years old and had oral sex with my boy friend. The first time we did it, we felt very excited, as everything was new to us. But this has created a lot of guilt feeling in me. I was very firm that I won't ever get into it, but my boyfriend couldn't control himself. When things were going on between the two of us, I didn't like it and felt irritated and possessed a deep guilt. I did not show any interest while we did it and tried to stop him. After that we never came so close to each other, but the scene keeps on flashing in my mind every time. He too is feeling guilty. He told me that he had physical attraction towards me, but I never had that and did it all out of my love. I am unable to forget those days and have gone crazy thinking about it night and day. But after discussing with him, about how he felt, I feel better. I really feel like helping him out to forget it, as I don't want him to blame himself for that. But I, myself am unable to forget it. What should I do?
A:On one hand , while I can understand the associated guilt, it is quite normal to feel attracted to the opposite sex and maybe lose control. As long as it was with consent and not under any pressure, the guilt should not overpower you. You just need to have certain boundaries drawn up for yourself for the future keeping in consideration the other sociocultural issues, that you are able to exercise. Also, the incident has already happened. The best way to work towards this is discuss, and ventilate and if it does not help, take help from a psychologist