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How can I handle my daughter who does what her mother says?

Q: My 7-year-old daughter lives with my wife and parents in Delhi. There has been some sudden change in her behaviour especially towards my father. She abuses and throws things at him and even refuses to eat. I live abroad and regularly talk to her on the phone and explain how she should behave. The main problem is my wife, who has been the inspiration behind my daughter's behaviour. Many a times I tried to explain to my wife and daughter that I am here to earn money for all of them, but all in vain. My daughter listens to me carefully but returns to same nature once her mother teaches her things. How can I handle this situation? I am thinking of sending her to some child psychiatrist. Please suggest a good child psychiatrist in Delhi?

A:If your daughter is following her mother's instructions and advice, she does not need to see a Psychiatrist. It is normal for a child to go by what her mother tells her. It appears that you do not have proper communication with your wife. You will have to talk to her about it and come to a better understanding. Perhaps, your wife and child should be with you. Sometimes, we give too much importance to the money we earn and not enough attention to relationships. You will have to review the whole situation and take some decision. But if you feel so hostile towards your wife, how can you expect her to maintain good relationship with you and your father? Nothing happens suddenly. There must be some reason for the child's change in behaviour. Why would any child treat her grandfather so disrespectfully? Since you have not given enough details, I am not able to advise you specifically. It seems to me that the whole family should get advice on how to manage their life and relationships. There are family therapists in Delhi. There is an Association of Family Therapy in Delhi, which would have names and addresses. If you are unable to locate anyone, you may send a letter to the Head, Dept. of Child Development at Lady Irwin College, Sikandra Road, New Delhi 110001 and ask for the information.


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