Q: I am 35 years old and married for fifteen years. Our sexual relationship was okay for first five years but thereafter it was not good. Then my husband went to work in UAE and due to family circumstances me and my children didn’t join him. He used to come once in a year and did not show interest in sex. We went to the doctor and he advised him to change his BP medicines. He was then taking Aten 25 and now he is on Concor 5 mg. He smokes and drinks everyday. After five years of separation I moved to UAE with him. We now have sex once in 2 or 3 months. I am not happy with it. I feel very depressed. He has a dominating nature and is short tempered. I tried to talk to him but he had never given much importance. I always think about sex and intimacy and I am not able to concentrate on anything. Please advise.

A:What you both require is an open dialogue on the subject with each other. It is extremely important to communicate with each other freely on such important matters. That way, you will know the reasons for his behaviour and will help you understand what is bothering him. If there are some medical problems he may be inflicted with they can be addressed. Other psychosexual problems can be tackled if you both see a sex and marriage counsellor. Good sex does not exist in isolation. It is one (important) component of a good inter-personal relationship where there is a frank and honest dialogue between husband and wife.