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Lack of sexual interest and premature ejaculation

Q: I am a female and have been married for 4 months. Doctor, my husband is not interested in daily sex, unlike me. Why is it that he is not interestd in sex. Sir we do not have sex daily, but when we do, I enjoy it a lot. And when I enjoy a lot, my uterus starts paining. Why is this so and is pain common or is there something serious with me. My husband is able to have intercourse for a minute or so and ejaculates while I want it to last longer. After that he says he is unable to do it again. Why is this and is he facing any problem? Please guide me.

A:Presuming that both of you are first timers, it is important to know that this is the period of your life when you are exploring each others and your own sexuality. It takes some time to be aware of each others needs and expectations as well as to learn ways of satisfying them. Only then can one enjoy without inhibitions. The most important thing to do is to help each other in this process gently, without pressurising, to communicate openly about sex and support and encourage each other if something goes wrong. Sex is more a mental than a physical act. Any unpleasant thought or emotion (e.g.anxiety) may inhibit ones sexual interest and mar ones sexual performance. Premature ejaculation [as in your case] may occur because of pressure to perform. You have to see whether you are contributing to your own problem. After ejaculation, a man has refractory period during which penile erection can not occur for sometime. During orgasm at the peak of sexual pleasure painful uterine contractions may occur normally. However, you should get a gynaecological check up to rule out any treatable cause. I advise you to consult a sex counsellor to find out the cause of your problem and sort it out.

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