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How can I help my wife to get rid of her aversion to sex?

Q: I am married for the past 6 years and have two children. We are a happy couple, except for the sex part. My wife had a disinterest in sex right from the day of the marriage. I thought she'll get interested gradually. But she never liked, caressed or made love to me, instead she gave some excuses and moved away. Recently she shocked me by saying that she had sex with a boy in her neighbourhood during childhood. This continued for some years. The boy inserted into her vagina and after finishing, he gave her some money to buy chocolates. Gradually her cousins and other people known to her, caressed and sucked her breasts and vagina. She does not say whether she had a sexual intercourse with anyone. Due to this whenever I try and caress her or make love, she feels that she is making love to those people and loses interest. I feel cheated and don't know what to do. I have assured her that I love her the most and will help her in anyway to come out of this trauma. I love her a lot and do not like to have sex with others. Please help.

A:We appreciate your understanding nature and keen-ness to help your wife. It appears that your wife is carrying in her thoughts some trauma/ unpleasant experiences of sex in her childhood. That is the most probable cause of her aversion to sex. For such cases, a few sittings with a psychotherapist are necessary to normalize her thinking on the subject. Kindly arrange to see a psycho-therapist in person at the earliest. Till then, please continue to be tolerant as you have been so far with your wife and don't discuss her past with her.


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