Why has my daughter become so rude?
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai
Q: My five-year-old daughter has always been a soft and happy kid. But after the birth of my son, who is two years old now, she has become very rude, and has started using words like 'stupid' and 'idiot' for her friends. All her friends have gradually started moving away from her, as they consider her very rude. I try to explain to her, but she starts crying or justifies her behaviour. I know that I have not been able to pay her much attention after my son's birth, but could this have affected her? She is otherwise a very happy and intelligent child. But I am scared that an atmosphere without friends might affect her psychologically. Kindly advise.
A:Clearly, the birth of a younger brother and the reduced attention from you was a tough experience for your daughter. She uses words that will annoy you in order to be noticed by you. For her, even being scolded by you is better than being ignored by you. You will have to be gentle (and firm) with her, but do things to convince her that she is loved. The friendless atmosphere that you are worried about may be the way she sees her home.If you want to help her psychologically, give her affection and trust, take an interest in what she does and spend time with her when she is eating. Think of games you can play with her and stories to read to her. There are no short cuts or simple formulae, but parental love always seems to work.