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Why does my two years old daughter misbehave?

Dr S Anandalakshmy
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai

Q: My two years old daughter is very stubborn and also a fussy eater. Whenever we go out, she always misbehaves for not buying her the stuff she wants. When at home, she cries a lot for no reason and sometimes, she behaves really good. Though she likes the company of other children but she doesn't play much with them. I believe that children should be disciplined and it can be taught at an early stage. What else should I do to make her a disciplined child?

A:The problem seems to be one of your relationships with your daughter. She probably wants more of your time, so she takes a long time to eat. I am not happy to see you use words like "fussy" and "stubborn". Cook things that she likes to eat and do not force her to eat adult food. Your letter suggests impatience and a lack of tenderness. Two year olds are just two years old! So don't expect them to be mature. Children do not cry for any reason. It is up to us to find the reasons for their protest or distress. Listening to them and being more observant might help. Children of age two cannot play group games. They like to be with other children, but prefer playing alone, by themselves. Please do not try and bring discipline with a strict hand. Make reasonable rules; be playful and relaxed in the way you talk to her. She may be too young to understand abstract things, but she is old enough to know when she is cherished. Work out the details with your husband, and do not start making her into a perfectly obedient little soldier!