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Why does my daughter get irritated over small things?

Dr S Anandalakshmy
Advisor on Child Development & Education,
Chennai

Q: My seven years old only daughter generally gets very irritated on small things, and remains cranky for a long time. Very often, she would demand for some or the other new thing and if not given, she continues to be in a bad mood. At times I try to handle it patiently but sometimes I lose my temper and start scolding her, but I feel guilty. However, I feel I am unable to tackle my daughter properly. Please suggest some ways to deal with her in a desirable manner.

A:You have given me very little information, so my suggestions would be close to a good guess.Problems do not occur in a random way. There are always factors in the home or school or the relationships, which could have an effect on the behaviour.One thing is clear - that the child feels insecure and needs to be understood. What you call small things could be important for her. But the causes for her feeling uncertain could be a new baby in the house, parting from a grandparent, the departure of a known caretaker or even some experience in school or with her friends. Make sure she has nutritious food, low on spices, plenty of sleep and rest periods and only a short time for TV watching. Spend time talking to her and listening to her. Children know much more than we think. Give her a chance to learn music, sports or some craft. She should be enjoying her childhood, not hankering after toys or gadgets.