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Why am I not interested in sex?

Dr Bir Singh
Faculty Incharge,
Sex and Marriage Counselling Clinic
Co-ordinator, AIDS Education & Training Cell,
Professor of Community Medicine
AIIMS, New Delhi- 110029

Q: I am a 23 years old married woman and I don’t feel excited about sex nor am I aroused with my husband. I feel better if I sleep alone. I always postpone having sex with him. In fact I do not like even if he kisses or hugs me. I feel suffocated when he hugs me. We were married after a lot of family conflicts. Is this because of some problem with my sexual hormones? Or, is it because of the anger that rose in me during marriage? It is making me stay away from my husband. Please advise.

A:You actually know the reason for your disinterest in sex with your husband. It is the acrimony & bitterness that has occurred before and during marriage that has resulted in you losing interest in sex. It is important to now forget these events and move on with your life. Keeping the status quo will only worsen the situation. Please try to see positive points in your husband and be gentle and considerate with him. Things will improve slowly. If you are unable to overcome these negative feelings by yourself, you are advised to seek professional help.