Should I marry a girl who is unsure of her feelings?
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist and Incharge of the Institute of Child Development and Adolescent Health at Moolchand Medcity, New Delhi
Q: I fell in love with a girl. We also had a physical relationship. She says that she was not actually in love with me, it was just an infatuation. We decided to get married, and then I had to go to a foreign country for my project. When I came back for marriage she said that she is attracted to another guy and wished that guy were her husband rather than me. She says she is confused as to what she should do and why she is getting a feeling like that. I don't know whether I should get married to her. Now she says that she is ready to accept me, and she will change her attitude. What should I do?
A:From what you report it seems that your relationship is based on a one sided commitment. The girl you want to marry seems to be unsure of her feelings not only towards you, but otherwise as well. Besides love, mutual trust, respect and commitment are essential aspects in any relationship. However in your case the girl does not seem to be in love with you and she has even expressed that to you. Marriage is a life-long commitment; think about it, whether you want to marry someone who is unsure of her feelings and whose feelings even you are not sure of!