I cannot forget my girlfriend but she wants me to forget her, what should I do?
Director and Consultant,
Psychiatry,
Fortis Flt. Lt. Rajan Dhall Hospital, Vasant Kunj,
Fortis Hospital, Shalimar Bagh, Fortis Memorial Research Institute, Gurgaon
Q: I have had several relationships with girls in my life. But over the last 4 years, I had a very steady relationship with a girl. Initially, we were very good friends and then became lovers. We were in the same class. Gradually, we started getting physical and continued it for quite a long time. We indulged in making love also. Though she resisted at times, we continued with it. Now, we have broken off and she says that she doesn't feel anything for me. She blames me for getting physical and now says she feels very guilty about it. She doesn't want any relationship with me now. We are now in the same city but in different colleges. I also feel very guilty about it. I want to mend the relationship but she simply refuses to listen to me and has asked me to go away from her life. I have asked her to be just friends also but she says no. I am very depressed about this whole thing. I feel very guilty. I feel I still love her and want to marry her but she wont listen to me. What should I do? I am finding it very difficult to forget her.
A:One can understand the emotional distress you must be feeling. After a break in a long relationship, there is a lot of emotional distress and one has to work through it, as life goes on. I feel you need to appreciate the fact that changes like this happen in relationships and life, and one has to try and come over them. A relationship is between two people, and if one person is not feeling the same, there is little you can do, except expressing your emotions and thoughts. But if not reciprocated you have to accept reality and focus on your individual life as well.